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07 May 2006 @ 06:30 pm
oh feck  
dangit. i hate social eating events. i'd fasted since 2 yesterday to 3:30 today [just water], and in doing so skipped a picnic [anti-social me], and then my friends invited me to a free picnic downstairs in our hall. i started off with just some chips and salsa, pickles, and then eventually felt pressured to eat a massive sandwich like everyone else.

1065 calories.

i hate myself.

why can't i be controlled like everyone else?

i'll never be pretty. i'll never be thin. i'm doomed to ugliness because i let my stomach call the shots rather than my mind. my life sucks.